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Saturday, May 27, 2017

Pokemon Firered: Mt. Moon But Mostly a Rant Against Bug Catchers

Welcome back to my Pokemon Firered Adventures! So, last we left off, my Pidgey named Tweeters had murdered a wild Pikachu that had subsequently caused me to drop my game in shock, which resulted in it freezing. Now, we move on to Mt. Moon! Warning: this post is huge. I had honestly considered breaking up, but I have naive faith that you guys can handle it!

IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS:

Clefairy via bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net
Also known as a mean, pink, slapping machine!

Let me just make something clear first; I never thought of my fellow NPC Pokemon Trainers who demand to battle me upon the slightest eye contact as bright. I even thought of that as moderately aggressive and probably stemming from a lack of attention at home, thus their need to escape and enslave animals in tiny spheres. However, I really have some questions for the Bug Catchers. Back in Veridian Forest, someone explained that there were Pokemon hobbyists around who weren't serious Trainers but still liked to battle.

                        But, really, Bug Catchers.

                                                                 Really.


I get that you enjoy using Bug-type Pokemon. That's totally respectable. I have a Butterfree and a Beedrill on my team right now, and I love both of them. I'm even thinking of keeping them both on my team for some time, mainly because I've never really done it before. So believe me Bug Catchers when I say I understand. There may be something about Bug-type Pokemon that is dignified and certainly underrated, even if it is one of the types that has some of the weakest critters.

                                                                                     But really, Bug Catchers.

                                                                                                                                       Really.

Metapod found via bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net
Also known as Cowers-in-Fear-and-Hardens.


Why are you sending out a Metapod or a Kakuna with Harden as their only move? Why do they not have the simplest attacking move on them, Tackle, that they should have from when they were Caterpie? I understand Metapods and Kakunas don't offer a lot of move versatility, but really. Did you literally catch them, and decide to throw them into the fray of battle... and expected something to happen other than them fainting? Why are you even using them? They aren't going to win. They aren't going to do anything, really. Perhaps, the poor little fellows know Harden because it soften the blows of their rooster ring fight! But no, I'm the bad guy. Suddenly, in light of your decision, I'm forced to beat your poor little Metapod or Kakuna to a pulp, because they only know Harden and you are the one who fought me because I  made eye contact! 




  Hun. 
                           You need some therapy.



Please let Brittney Spears guide you. 


                                       


But let me back up and explain this predicament in a little more detail, because right now, to some of you, this may sound like a pointless and quite obvious rant. Some of you might be thinking, of course they're using Metapods and Kakunas with only Harden! They're Bug Catchers and using Harden is what Metapod and Kakuna do. Still yourselves. I will explain my logic. Some of you may understand my frustration, but others of you may be completely lost or just a little lost. Or not lost at all, but here we go!

Kakuna found via bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net
Also known as Harden-Until-It-Faints
But really, can we just acknowledge how cool Kakuna looks?

Bug Catchers are a kind of Pokemon Trainer who like to fight you, and as their name would imply, exclusively use Bug-type Pokemon. Oh yeah, we're going to the bare basics, people! The fun thing about Bug-type Pokemon is they evolve very early on. Butterfree, the final evolution of the Caterpie line, can be obtained by level 10. Metapod, the second evolution, can be obtained by level 7. Pretty spiffy right? I haven't lost you yet, have I? Normally, but in the case of bugcatchers, wrong. This is where the Bug Catchers of Pokemon Firered make their grievous mistake. Caterpie is one of the Pokemon these Bug Catchers like to use, which comes with two moves Tackle and String Shot. Metapod is also a Pokemon that the Bug Catchers like to use, sporting the nifty Harden move. Out in the wild, it is the only move they know, for some reason, lacking both of Caterpie's moves. Harden does one thing, boost defense. However, if they are evolved from a Caterpie by the player, they will know Tackle and String Shot. Which adds to the mystery of why wild Metapods wouldn't naturally have these moves learned, but that's totally diverging. You can't control me!

What Bug Catchers are doing is, essentially, catching Metapods in the wild and throwing them straight into battle. Do you know what this means? Their poor Metapods only have one move: Harden. They do not have the patience to level up their wild Caterpies to level 7. Yes. You read that right. And yes. I did make you think of something you hadn't considered. It's okay, you can take a seat. Bugcatchers just grab a Metapod, throw it into the ring, and cross their fingers, praying the Metapod has the ability to take down my psychopath Pidgey. Do you know what the Metapod really does? It cowers in fear, using Harden to hopefully lessen the pain of the blows from my Pidgey's bloodthirsty attacks, because Bug Catchers. They do the same thing with Kakunas, who has a similar leveling path. Let's add to this that the Metapod I fought in Mt. Moon, which started this rant, was level 10. Do you know why that's an issue? It should have evolved into Butterfree, as in Butterfreed from the shackles of Harden! They intentionally left it a Metapod with only Harden! What makes it even worse is they actively and quite eagerly approach other people for battle with a Metapod that they've given zero chances for winning against others, making me wonder if the highlight of their day might, at the worst, be forcing helpless Pokemon to fight, or at the best, but not by much, enjoy serving as a minor annoyance to any Trainers they come across because Hardening Metapods and Kakunas can be just an extra bit of a pain to take down. Let's not forget that they are probably five-years-olds, so they might just be dumb, and again, the Bug Catcher in Mt. Moon had a level 10 Metapod, meaning they could have chosen to evolve it but chose not to.





Their mother must have been a rock. The bad kind of rock. Stay away from Dwayne Johnson!

But then you have the Youngster Trainers, who actually know what they're doing with flooping Ratatas. Let me give you an example. I got in a fight with a Youngster and he brought out his Ratata. Ratata's are ridiculously weak, okay. People don't tend to hold on to them. The first thing he did was Tail Whip to lower my defense. The second thing he did was take a chomp out of me with Hyper Fang, and I do mean chomp. Tweeters almost fainted. That's something that took skill and strategy. Like a grain of salt worth of strategy, but I'll give credit. Was it simple? Yes. Did it work? Heck yes. Does that take away his shame from using a Ratata? No. But, at least he gets some swifty street cred!

This sort of decision making is obviously something the Bug Catchers never thought about.

Because they use Metapods.
                                             With just harden.
            Then expect to win.
                                                                                                          And are surprised when they lose.
And sometimes don't even evolve the Metapod.

This is what happens when you let children wander around dark caves without a proper education, people. I bet Youngsters at least have Preschool on their belt, but Bug Catchers are as bright as that cave, I tell you! Granted, they are probably as bright as Rock Tunnel, but I'll let that insult slide.

So aside from that illuminating epiphany from my journey through Mount Moon, which was mostly just a rant, everything else went rather smoothly. I caught a Clefairy and named it Bro. (Yes, totally original. Maybe I should have named it Clefairbro). Unfortunately, said Bro did not come with a Moonstone. Why did you do this to me Bro? I thought we were bros, Bro. In a previous playthrough, thousands of years ago in the century of 2010 or some such decade, I caught a Clefairy and it held a moonstone. It made me so happy. You want to know what happened to that save file? I think you know. It tried to usurp the kingdom and was dealt with appropriately.

I also had the classic choice between the helix fossil and the dome fossil near the end of the cave. The struggle of that choice is probably difficult for many, sort of like choosing between chocolate and swirl frozen yogurt from the yogurt machine because who cares about vanilla. Choose swirl or face the consequences! It's quite funny, when I was younger, I always chose the helix fossil, and my little brother always chose the dome fossil. The helix fossil eventually gets you Omanyte, a nautilus-like Pokemon that I found a huge draw to. I thought it was adorable, elegant, and just overall quite interesting. It then turns into Omastar, which is intriguing and powerful looking. The fact that they come from a fossil adds a bit of mystique to them as well.
Omanyte, found via bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net
Also known as Cuddly-Squid-Face
Omastar, found via bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net
Also known as Less-Cuddly Squid-Face-But-Oh-Look-Spikes















Coolio, right?


Then there's Kabuto from the dome fossil. Kabuto... is a disgusting little sea cockroach, and it eventually it evolves into Kabutops, a disgusting sea cockroach on two legs. Eww, grooooss. For some reason, my little brother was obsessed with it. He may have been born with the horrible disease known as Bug Catcher, between you and me. Truthfully, it's based on something called a trilobite. I used to love them when I was little, but for some reason, not enough to get Kabuto. We all know the reason. So, in the honor of doing something different this playthrough, I naturally decided that it would be best to choose the one thing I know I had no choice to get. That's right. I got the helix fossil. The only sea cockroach I want is lobster. Oh, you didn't know the lobster is related to cockroaches? Surprise!

Kabuto, found via bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net
Also known as Ew-Get-It-Away
Kabutops, found via bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net
Also known as Omg-It-Got-Worse







WOULD YOU LET THESE NEAR YOUR CHILDREN? Case closed.



And that was my experience through Mt. Moon! I must have been so traumatized by all the Zubats that they've completely left my memory. What is a Zubat, anyway? Some sort of parasite that no one wants or loves aside from Amber the Blonde Writer? Ew, gross! Kidding, they can be quite formidable when evolved into Crobat.

So, is there a trainer type you love to hate? What are your opinions on Bugcatchers? Did you go Helix or Dome? Tell me about your Pokemon adventures!

And for now, that's a ta~ta!

Tanks for reeding!

I should note that the pictures of Pokemon used in this blog belong to Nintendo, and I in no way claim any sort of ownership of them. This should be obvious but juuust in case.

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