Wizard 101: How to Lose to Children in PvP

It's remarkably easy.

You step into the arena expecting it to be "fun" AND THEN YOU HAVE YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU!

I've never played in a PvP match before in Wizard101. I thought I might enjoy it, so I went to the PvP arena with my friend (you know, the same one that only appears in my Wizard101 entries). At first I thought of going it alone. I just logged on and thought, why not try PvP? Silly past me. You fool. Then I discovered there were teamed matches, so I went in with my friend. I didn't think it'd be a big deal with me being level 80, and my friend being level 88. I believe I thought it would be... "easy". HA! I'm waiting for our first battle, which took FOREVER for the queue to pop up, and my friend says it isn't a big deal. It's fun and stuff. That stuff would be pain and humiliation, for those of you who are wondering. I don't tend to like PvP because it can be uber competitive and people tend to get mean, but it's a kid's game and I've fought some really hard boss battles before, so why not? You fool.


The arena queue pops up, and we launch into a match. We are in the middle of a GORGEOUS arena. I just couldn't believe how monstrously beautiful the arena we were popped into was. How that beauty would betray me! Also forgot to a proper screenshot of the arena... SO I'VE BETRAYED YOOOU!

And then the turn starts. First guy lowers my accuracy, second guy lowers my attack power. Well, fuck you too, bitch.

BUT ITS OKAY! I've fought monsters that were little jerks before, I always recovered. Well, then things start to go south. Far south. I'm frustrated, but I still think you can pull through it. Then there's a cheer squad.

People are watching the match. And I realized, quite literally, that no one is on my side. Aside from the person who is... standing right next to me. The match continues, and in a few short turns...

I'VE BEEN DEFEATED!

You see those chat bubbles under their names with the red circle and the cross through it? That means they have the chat filter on. They have to be over 13 to get that removed. They've beaten me, and they haven't even hit puberty! Well, some have, they probably just don't know how to take off the filter.

But I haven't learned my lesson yet. Oh no, my friend gets told by one of the opponents after the match, "Good game, noob." Turns out my opponents used us to get their pvp rank up because afterwards there was talk of celebrating with their friends in the crowd or some such. I felt filthy! But my friend? Ohooo. She's pissed.  She demands we both queue up for another match. I kind of whine a bit, says things like, "but I don't want another painful death! Noooo." But all she's like, "No, WE CANNOT BE BEAT BY CHILDREN!" Hahaaaa.

I'm anxious but curious how it will go. The prompt to go in pops up and I accept. Excitement! That first one had to be a fluke! It's not like I'm an awful PvP person or anything like that. It isn't the same people. Thank goodness. Those other guys were ruthless. Doesn't matter though. I lost again.

Again my friend says! That was a second fluke. They are only kids! But the next match is the SAME people from before. I lost AGAIN!

ONE MORE TIME!!!

Didn't matter. Lost!

And you know what? Every single one had that stupid chat bubble with the red circle crossed out.

And that's how to lose to children in PvP.


...but in all seriousness, I CAN'T FREAKING BELIEVE I LOST TO KIDS. This one group I felt so good about and then BAM an earthquake that knocked out all of my blades (which would have boosted my damage). It's a ruthless battlefield, and I don't quite know if I like it or not. PvP is just a strange other world that I have never been very familiar with. It makes it all the more difficult when you're losing to children. So, my advice would be that if you're going to try PvP, do it at an early level!

Chow!