Minecraft: Oh How I Hate you Enchanting Table

MAY LAVA DROWN YOUR SOUL. No, not you reader... Unless you're an enchanting table, THEN MAY IT BE TRIPLE DROWNED.

For some reason, EVERYONE WAS ROYALTY.

All right. I'm sure those of us who have played Minecraft have had an unfortunate experience with an enchanting table, right? I mean, that table just took everything it wanted and left you with pennies. And they were the ugliest pennies evah.  Fortunately, not a whole lot of work goes into securing my levels because I play on a public server called Silver Springs Survival, and there is a public experience farm available. Hahaaa! I cheet.

Don't let that lure you into a false sense of security. Oh no! No no. My story is a dark and terrible one. *makes ghost noises* Wooooo. You see, playing online gets you used to certain things. Going to be away from the computer? Easy, use the /afk command and you are instantly invulnerable! Super easy to do, and none of that sticky grease! Wait. What. Saves you lots of time, especially when you're in an inconvenient place like a cave or out in the open. This is the story of how I forgot. Naturally.

A dramatization.

You see, silly little me, being uber tired and all, did NOT use the AFK command when his father called him away to look at the TV... but let's begin our story a few weeks earlier. I was having the BEST time with an Unbreaking III, Efficiency IV pickaxe and a Silk Touch (and I think) Efficiency IV pickaxe. I'd alternate between, getting a butt ton of glowstone with my Silk Touch pickaxe buuuuutt toooon and would likewise a nice bit of quartz with my unbreaking pickaxe. Not such a butt ton. I don't tend to dwell in the nether very long, but those pickaxes gave me a sense of courage that I've never had before! I was like a Minecraft Hercules, brah. I've also always been a fan of having good pickaxes. Everything else being enchanted has always been a bit "meh" for me. I normally just use my levels on pickaxes. Armor? Swords? Bows? Forget about it!

Well both pick axes started to wear down and I realized I was in need of another. I had the levels and stopped by an enchanting table at a friend's house. That's when a beautiful Unbreaking III, Efficiency IV, Fortune III pickaxe popped out with golden rays of justice and llamas that sang opera. I haven't had one in so long I was practically singing just like those llamas. I was so excited to use it!! So excited to get things done!!

A few days pass, I see my pickaxe in my inventory and notice that it isn't getting used because I'm trying to break my unbreaking pickaxe. Irony.

I think to myself, I should really put that in a chest. 

No, I say in response. That's silly. What could ever happen?

A few more days pass, and I wander out of my tower, me half asleep but stubborn as hell because it was my last night of freedom. I started a call center job the next day and I demanded to be free! I looked up at my tower and notice that it could use some more glowstone around the window to brighten it up. I also had a diamond axe, diamond shovel, and TWO excellent enchanted bows that fell off skeletons. Bows that had kept me safe in that evil, evil nether. With totally awesome music.

Then my dad calls me to the living room to watch something on American Ninja. So I do it... BUT I DIDN'T AFK.  The TV is intoxicating. I watch not just one run through that obstacle course but THREE!! I return. My screen is red and telling me I have died.

It's fine, I tell myself, my stuff should be right outside my door.

It wasn't.

This seems the appropriate reaction.

CLICK MEH.

Not only that, my avatar was FULL OF ARROWS. You son of a bitch, Skeleton.

Then began my quest to regain all the things that I lost. In particular a silk touch pickaxe, and that precious precious unbreaking/efficiency/fortune pickaxe the llamas started screaming in rage. I toil in the public xp grinder, gather all my diamonds, and back to that enchanting table that blessed me so.

A single Efficiency IV enchantment.

Damn. Let's try again! Back to that grinder.

Unbreaking III.

Okaaay.

Efficiency IV.

I am not liking this trend. Then I notice I can combine pickaxes on the anvil and it only costs 19 levels. That's cool, I think to myself, maybe if I can get another Unbreaking III, or even a Fortune III, I can combine them together and have a sweet pick axe.

Unbreaking III, Efficiency IV.

Well. Fuck. Ok. At least there's that. So I wandered away from the game for a while and I returned after a couple of weeks. I remembered my dilemma, gathered my materials together and got some xp. Then I noticed that my diamond stash was getting a bit low.

OH, I think to myself, BOOKS!! They always get a crap ton of awesome enchants. I can do that, and I won't waste a pickaxe. Maybe I can even get something really good for another item.

And so I ran to the enchanting table with a book in hand. I plop it in the slot, cross my fingers, annnnd....

I hate you so much right now enchanting table. I HOPE LAVA BURNS YOUR SOUL.